So I just had an interesting debate with some friends about men and women and relationship and the first thing that stood out to me was the importance of language which brings me to a short tangent before I even start.
I think we have all become a little lazy with language and the choice of words that we use. With the invention of the internet and instant gratification, I do not think that we put the same thought into things that our ancestors did. I cannot tell you how many important things (like my graduate school welcome letter) that I have received in recent years with spelling or grammatical errors!!! I don’t know if it is the rush and need to get things out or just LAZINESS!! but whatever it is, it speaks volumes to me (if you know my mother you understand why). I understand that I grew up different from most but people need to relearn the value of professionalism. *Stepping down off soapbox*
Back to my main point though. This discussion began with my declaration to some guy friends that I just want CONSISTENCY!! The response I got was…
Friend J – You don’t even know what you want so just stop!
Me- Well what do you think I mean by consistency?
This than sparked a discussion. He heard consistency as mundane and boring where I meant consistency as in reliable and trustworthy. I feel like a lot of times men (and sometimes woman) set themselves up with the big promises of what they think the other person wants and then when they can’t deliver the person is disappointed when they did not even really want it in the first place!! Don’t promise me flowers and candies and whatnot and then drop the ball because even if I don’t like them I am going to feel a certain kind of way because you created an expectation.
Basically what I am trying to say is be about you word!! (which is why it is important to know what you are saying because what you mean and what someone perceives is not always the same so it is important to gain clarity and understanding to avoid miscommunication and frustration!) In fact, be a bit spontaneous… instead of telling me what you are going to do just do it (well sometimes tell me first cause not all surprises are good lol).
Another quick side note: Fellas if a woman asks you about something you said you were gonna do for her or give her to her, that does not necessarily make her a nag or a gold-digger, she is trying to be persistent and hold you accountable. So just own that you messed up or better yet just do it. We don’t want to keep asking anymore than you want to keep hearing about it!!